We have carefully selected 20 funny wedding readings for you to enjoy and hope it will inspire you to add that little bit of humour to your wedding day.
A wedding ceremony can be stressful time. So why not add some fun that makes everyone laugh. It can be a great way to ease the mood of the ceremony. It can also allow you a little time to enjoy the big event and feel more part of the congregation in your laughter.
20 Funny Wedding Readings that’ll make your laugh
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A love story by Edward Monkton
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He never leaves the seat up Author Unknown
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I’ll be there for you by Louise Cuddon
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I wanna be yours by John Cooper Clarke
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Let Me Put It This Way by Simon Armitage
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I rely on you by Hovis Presley
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Recipe for love Author Unknown
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The owl and the pussycat by Edward Lear
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I like you by Sandol Stoddard Warburg
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The house at the pooh corner by A.A Milne (1882-1956)
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Untitled by Bee Rawlinson
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Weddings Arthor Unknown
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Crazy with Love by Charlotte Gray
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So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish by Douglas Adams
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The Day the Saucers Came by Neil Gaiman
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The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson
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Falling in love is like owning a dog by Taylor Mali
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Foxtrot From a Play by W H Auden
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Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss
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All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulgham
Photo : Tom The Photographer
Hi,
We’re looking for a funny reading . We want to have two readings in the ceremony, would like to have one of them a funny poem. I want something funny and romantic. But I cannot find one?
Any help in this would be appreciated.
Many thanks
Sara
Try this
“Love is” by Adrian Henri
Love is…
Love is feeling cold in the back of vans
Love is a fanclub with only two fans
Love is walking holding paintstained hands
Love is.
Love is fish and chips on winter nights
Love is blankets full of strange delights
Love is when you don’t put out the light
Love is
Love is the presents in Christmas shops
Love is when you’re feeling Top of the Pops
Love is what happens when the music stops
Love is
Love is white panties lying all forlorn
Love is pink nightdresses still slightly warm
Love is when you have to leave at dawn
Love is
Love is you and love is me
Love is prison and love is free
Love’s what’s there when you are away from me
Love is…
I really like Pam Ayres “yes I’ll marry you” and Edward Monkton’s love poem about two dinosaurs is gorgeous!!Yes, I’ll Marry You.
Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,
And here’s the reason why;
So I can push you out of bed
When the baby starts to cry,
And if we hear a knocking
And it’s creepy and it’s late,
I hand you the torch you see,
And you investigate.
Yes I’ll marry you, my dear,
You may not apprehend it,
But when the tumble-drier goes
It’s you that has to mend it,
You have to face the neighbour
Should our labrador attack him,
And if a drunkard fondles me
It’s you that has to whack him.
Yes, I’ll marry you,
You’re virile and you’re lean,
My house is like a pigsty
You can help to keep it clean.
That sexy little dinner
Which you served by candlelight,
As I do chipolatas,
You can cook it every night!
It’s you who has to work the drill
and put up curtain track,
And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak,
I do see great advantages,
But none of them for you,
And so before you see the light,
I do, I do, I do!
A lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton
The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place.
Hope that helps!!!! xx
Me too having Pam Ayres one — I think its hilarious!
We are having A love story by Edward Monkton
https://www.itakeyou.co.uk/lovely-love-story-edward-monkton-wedding-reading/
and He never leaves the seat up https://www.itakeyou.co.uk/he-never-leaves-seat-wedding-reading/
Kate xx
We’re having Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss and Let Me Put It This Way by Simon Armitage
We love this
He Never Leaves the Toilet Seat up — Don’t know author
He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!
He’s very clean and tidy
Though he may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!
She romances him and dines him
Home cooked dinners and the like
She even knows his favourite food
And spoils him day and night!
She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!
He says he loves her figure
And her mental prowess too
But when gravity takes her over
Will she charm with her IQ?
She says she loves his kindness
And his patience is a must
And of course she thinks he’s handsome
Which in her eyes is a plus!
They’re both not wholly perfect
But who are we to judge
He can be pig headed
Where as she won’t even budge!
All that said and done
They love the time they spend together
And I hope as I’m sure you do
That this fine day will last forever.
He’ll be more than just her husband
He’ll also be her friend
And she’ll be more than just his wife
She’ll be his soul mate ’till the end.
This poem is for Bride and Groom
A married couple now
It’s a token of the love they share
And the thought behind each vow.
We’re having my little sister reading this one
A Lovely Love Story – Edward Monkton and The Promise, Eileen Rafter
We’re having Let Me Put It This Way by Simon Armitage and a love story
I love the dinosaur one, it made me go a bit weepy!
Here’s one of ours, ‘I Rely on You’ by Hovis Presley
We edited slightly.
I rely on you
like a camera needs a shutter
like a gambler needs a flutter
like a golfer needs a putter
like a buttered scone involves some butter
I rely on you
like an acrobat needs ice cool nerve
like a hairpin needs a drastic curve
like an HGV needs endless derv
like an outside left needs a body swerve
I rely on you
like a handyman needs pliers
like an auctioneer needs buyers
like a laundromat needs driers
like The Good Life needed Richard Briers
I rely on you.
Hi,
I am struggling to find an appropriate wedding reading for my teenage son.
He definitely is not a “Winnie the Pooh” or any kinds of dinosaur type. I have been trying to find a humorous reading for him. He like technology and funny things.
If anyone has any suggestions.
Many thanks
Hannah xx
‘Love is a temporary madness’ – Louis de Bernières
Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.
how about the recipe for a happy marriage?
1 cup consideration
1 cup courtesy
2 cupfuls flattery carefully concealed
1 gallon faith and trust in each other
2 cupfuls praise
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 reasonable budget, a generous dash of cooperation
3 teaspoon pure extract of “I’m sorry”
1 cup contentment
1 cup each confidence and encouragement
1 large or several small hobbies
1 cup blindness to the other’s faults
Flavor with frequent portions of recreation and a dash of happy memories. Stir well and remove any specks of jealousy, temper or criticism. Sweeten well with generous portions of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion. Never serve with cold shoulder.
Hi Rachel,
We really love this one 🙂
Ninize xx
You could try wedding readings from films.
Stardust. we are seriously considering having it for our ceremony
You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.
not sure if too girly 🙂
We’re having “Us Two” by A. A. Milne as one of our readings:
Wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and me.
Whatever I do, he wants to do.
“Where are you going today?” says Pooh.
“Well, that’s very odd ‘cos I was too.
Let’s go together,” says Pooh, says he.
“Let’s go together,” says Pooh.
“What’s twice eleven?” I said to Pooh.
(“Twice what?” said Pooh to me.)
“I think it ought to be twenty-two.”
“Just what I think myself,” said Pooh.
“It wasn’t an easy sum to do,
But that’s what it is,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what it is,” said Pooh.
“Let’s look for dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“Yes, let’s,” said Pooh to me.
We crossed the river and found a few –
“Yes, those are dragons all right,” said Pooh.
“As soon as I saw their beaks I knew.”
“That’s what they are,” said Pooh, said he.
“That’s what they are,” said Pooh.
“Let’s frighten the dragons,” I said to Pooh.
“That’s right,” said Pooh to me.
“I’m not afraid,” I said to Pooh,
And I held his paw and I shouted “Shoo!
Silly old dragons!”- and off they flew.
“I wasn’t afraid,” said Pooh, said he,
“I’m never afraid with you.”????
So wherever I am, there’s always Pooh,
There’s always Pooh and me.
“What would I do,” I said to Pooh,
“If it wasn’t for you?” And Pooh said: “True,
It isn’t much fun for one, but two
Can stick together,” says Pooh, says he.
“That’s how it is,” says Pooh.
Emma Lily — We’re having that reading too…so cute and childish like us lol x
SAGA LOVE ~ Bee Rawlinson
Love me when I’m old and shocking
Peel off my elastic stockings
Swing me from the chandeliers
Let’s be randy bad old dears
Push around my chromed Bath Chair
Let me tease your white chest hair
Scaring children, swapping dentures
Let us have some great adventures
Take me to the Dogs and Bingo
Teach me how to speak the lingo
Bone my eels and bring me tea
Show me how it’s meant to be
Take me to your special places
Watching all the puzzled faces
You in shorts and socks and sandals
Me with warts and huge love-handles
As the need for love enthrals
Wrestle with my dampproof smalls
Make me laugh without constraint
Buy me chocolate body paint
Hold me safe throughout the night
When my hair has turned to white
Believe me when I say it’s true
I’ve waited all my life for you.
Thank you so much everyone. 🙂
Also try this https://www.itakeyou.co.uk/romantic-wedding-readings/
We’re getting married this autumn and we’re having two wedding reading. We aren’t religious, and we are both geeks so I would like something that shows off that geekyness while still being about love. We like Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, Harry Potter,Lord of the Rings etc.
I can’t think of anything from any show/book/movie that I would like to include.
Any ideas? Thank you for your help in advance xx
Have you tried this one? I like the Day the Saucers came …And
Ambassador G’Kar’s “Declaration of Principles” from Babylon 5
The Universe speaks in many languages, but only one voice.
The language is not Narn or Human or Centauri
or Gaim or Minbari.
It speaks in the language of hope. It speaks in
the language of trust.
It speaks in the language of strength, and
the language of compassion.
It is the language of the heart and the language of the soul.
But always it is the same voice.
It is the voice of our ancestors speaking through us.
And the voice of our inheritors waiting to be born.
It is the small, still voice that says we are One.
No matter the blood, no matter the skin,
No matter the world, no matter the star,
We are One.
No matter the pain, no matter the darkness,
No matter the loss, no matter the fear.
We are One.
Here, gathered together in common cause
We agree to recognize this singular truth and this singular rule:
That we must be kind to one another.
Because each voice enriches us and ennobles us,
And each voice lost diminishes us.
We are the voice of the universe, the soul of creation,
The fire that will light the way to a better future.
——————————————————– and
An excerpt from ” The Two Towers : Being the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings” by J.R.R. Tolkien
ENT: When Spring unfolds the beechen leaf, and sap is in the bough;
When light is on the wild-wood stream, and wind is on the brow;
When stride is long, and breath is deep, and keen the mountain-air,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is fair!
ENTWIFE.: When Spring is come to garth and field, and corn is in the blade;
When blossom like a shining snow is on the orchard laid;
When shower and Sun upon the Earth with fragrance fill the air,
I*ll linger here, and will not come, because my land is fair.
ENT.: When Summer lies upon the world, and in a noon of gold
Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold;
When woodland halls are green and cool, and wind is in the West,
Come back to me! Come back to me, and say my land is best!
ENTWIFE. : When Summer warms the hanging fruit and burns the berry brown;
When straw is gold, and ear is white, and harvest comes to town;
When honey spills, and apple swells, though wind be in the West,
I*ll linger here beneath the Sun, because my land is best!
ENT.: When Winter comes, the winter wild that hill and wood shall slay;
When trees shall fall and starless night devour the sunless day;
When wind is in the deadly East, then in the bitter rain
I*ll look for thee, and call to thee; I*ll come to thee again!
ENTWIFE : When Winter comes, and singing ends; when darkness falls at last;
When broken is the barren bough, and light and labour past;
I*ll look for thee, and wait for thee, until we meet again:
Together we will take the road beneath the bitter rain!
BOTH : Together we will take the road that leads into the West
And far away will find a land where both our hearts may rest. ……
We are having Oh the Places You’ll Go – Dr Seuss and The owl and the pussycat by Edward Lear and The house at the pooh corner by A.A Milne
I’m the bride’s mother and have been asked to do a reading or poem at my daughter’s civil ceremony
I don’t know where to start. Please help
Thank you
I’m the bride’s mother and have been asked to do a reading or poem at my daughter’s civil ceremony
I don’t know where to start. Please help
Thank you
Hi Karan,
Please can you just give me an idea what kind of reading / poem are you looking for? Funny or romantic or traditional? So that I can guide you the right direction.
This page is a funny reading which is you can use at a civil ceremony.
Also please take a look at this page that we’ve indexed lots of different readings. https://www.itakeyou.co.uk/wedding-reading-ideas-uk/
Kind regards
Ninize
Try this one Mother to daughter! Just found this on internet.
You are the mirror of my past,
The future of my dreams,
The hope for what in life may last,
The jewel that time redeems.
You are yourself, of course, no less,
But also you are mine,
The light of all my treasured days,
The gift for which I pine.
Long may we this closeness share,
This place where memories play,
And if our friendship needs repair,
May love reveal the way.
And now that you’re to be a wife
With loves and passions new,
May you find in your sweet life
The joy I have in you.
Use these poems as inspiration to create your own original verse!
From Mother to Daughter
Simple Sentimental Verse
(Name), My beautiful little girl
You used to be.
But today, (Name) – you walk down the aisle
and it’s a beautiful woman I see.
Sweet Humorous Toast
Through all the years,
The ups and downs
Through your toddling and smiles
(Through adolesence and your frowns)
I loved you more than life.
Now today we celebrate
The coming years
To all your new joys
To infrequent tears,
May you live long and happy as man and wife!
Poem for a Card
Dear Daughter,
I have prayed for your happiness since the day you were born,
and now I see your happy, shining eyes
alight with love so warm.
Though your image as a child always with me stays,
I pray for your marriage
Strength, wisdom, and love
All your days.
Looking for a nice reading/ poem for my daughter to read at my upcoming wedding. One that would possibly mention a welcome to my new husband/her step dad aka pop’s and friend.